When did life become so serious? When did everyday life become about locking in and reaching this big goal, and if you meet someone who is not taking it seriously, then leave? Not worth it. They’re a distraction. Like why? Why and when did things become not fun anymore? The […]
Letters From Vintessa
Maybe I Just Need to Get Out of the House: When Cozy Life Gets Too Cozy
I have a confession: social media is ruining my brain. I’m sorry, it is. I moved to a new city and slowly my friend circle dwindled away to the point where I might go out every few weeks. So most nights, I’m on the phone scrolling, binge-watching a show, or […]
Are We Expecting Too Much From Hookups, or Is the Bar in Hell?
Is it odd that sometimes we hold hookups to the same standards as we would someone in a relationship? We know it’s casual. We know that we don’t want anything to come from the relationship, yet sometimes we hold them to the same standard as we would a long-term partner. […]
The Thing About Married Friends When You’re Single
I’m at the age now where there are more married friends than single ones. If they’re not married, they’re trying to get married or getting a divorce. I like to keep in touch with my married friends and relationship-oriented people in my life, because I enjoy hearing different perspectives on […]
What I Realized From Spending A Year Alone
My biggest realization from spending a year by myself is that I might be the problem. Not in the most toxic way, but I have a nasty habit of hyperfixating on one thing, one outcome, and pouring my all into it, then feeling like a failure if it doesn’t happen […]
Letters To Vintessa: Who Needs Permission?
The first time I was able to give myself permission to do whatever I wanted was on my birthday a few months ago. I went on my first solo trip that I had originally planned to take with someone else. They couldn’t make it, and I would usually cancel everything […]
Why Getting Ready in the Morning Is an Underrated Self-Care Habit
One of the most underrated self-care tools that’s at most people’s disposal is getting ready in the morning. Taking time to prepare for the day is something we often rush through or brush off, thinking it doesn’t matter, but it does. Spending time in the morning and deciding what to […]
When Rest Doesn’t Look Like Rest
I often get caught in a routine-based life. If I’m not writing, I’m planning my next piece. If those are done, I’m cleaning in preparation for something else. I get so lost in routine that I forget life is meant to be lived. The other day, I decided to break […]
Meeting People Where They Are
I love seeing someone with a dream. Meeting someone who’s passionate about a goal is always inspiring, but it can also keep you trapped in a way. You keep seeing their potential and imagining what they could be if they just did XYZ. The hard truth is that that’s my […]
What Happened When I Stopped Asking for Permission
I wasn’t brought up around the most encouraging people. I was never taught to dream big—more often, the message was simply not to cause problems. Because of that, I never had much confidence in myself. Once I was out on my own, that pattern continued. Even when I went home […]