There’s an episode of Sex and the City where the main girls are talking about the imaginary war between single women and women in relationships and how women in relationships “won” and they essentially lost. I never got that. When and where did getting into a relationship become the prize? I get it back in the 1800s and early 1900s, but now that women can work and fund their own lives, why do we still put such an emphasis on finding “the one”? Even now, when we picture a woman who “has it all,” it’s a career, a partner, and kids. She has the traditional American dream. And until you’ve reached that, you’re just floating around waiting for your life to begin. Even if you’re happily single, people assume you’re waiting for Mr. Right, the perfect man to come along and make an “honest” woman out of you, like being […]
Why I’m Taking Myself on Dates Again
When did it become crazy to go out alone? In an age where singleness runs rampant and there seems to be a new loneliness epidemic being reported daily, why is it considered radical to take yourself out on dates? Where did the term “solo date” even come from? I feel like the name came out of nowhere, but the concept and idea behind it is something beautiful. Because the biggest difference between just going out alone and being on a solo date is the energy behind it. If I’m already out running errands and go into a café for lunch, that’s just grabbing a bite to eat. But a solo date is where you get dressed in something you love, do up your makeup, and take yourself somewhere you enjoy. You go see a show just for you or do something simply because you want to. You’re doing something special […]
Build a Collected Home, Not a Perfect One
Recently, I’ve become more and more interested in building a life and collecting treasures along the way. Whether that be from my travels or finding a piece I love at the thrift store. Homes shouldn’t be sterile. They should be real, imperfections and all. It’s what makes them feel like a home, not a showroom. I think the best way to describe it is like a grandmother’s home. When you go in, you see family photos and collected treasures. Seeing their life surrounding them in their home is such a personal experience, and it’s something I wish was represented more. When I started curating my home, I wanted a distinct look. I didn’t want something that felt overly curated. I wanted people to come in and know without a shadow of a doubt that this is my space. I wanted a collected, treasured home, one that looked like I’ve been […]
What Dating Looks Like When You’re Not Looking For A Husband
When dating, it’s normal to come to the scene with a list of yeses and nos, a timeline, and a no-nonsense plan. You’re supposed to date with a clear mind and intention. The goal has been to find a suitable mate. But lately, the tides have turned, and some women aren’t dating for a soulmate in “20 days”. They’re looking for someone to add to their lives, not just fill a role. As one of those women who isn’t necessarily dating with the intent to marry or procreate, it’s been an interesting shift in dynamics, especially since I’m dating in my 30s now. For most people, this is their final countdown. It’s where they find someone good enough or “accept their fate” and become single forever. I think I hate that last one more than the first. Accepting being single forever gives off the vibe that you’ve given up on […]
The $40 Coffee Table Makeover That Completely Changed My Living Room
I just completed a DIY that I love. A few months ago, I thrifted this $10 “wooden” coffee table off Facebook Marketplace and honestly didn’t know what to do with it. There was nothing technically wrong with it, but it didn’t brighten the room or make it as moody as I wanted. It was just…there. Somehow, with all my new purchases, my entire living room was all a dark brown, from the leather couch to my coffee table. Individually, they work, but together the room fell flat and dull. I went to Pinterest looking for inspiration. I wanted something bold, something that was conversational and looked fancy. It was there I saw a girl applying tile contact paper to her coffee table, and a light bulb went off: I can do that with marble. Marble has that perfect mix of unique and classic. It’s classic in the sense that it’s […]
Why Date When You’re Perfectly Happy at Home?
Something is stirring in the dating world. We as women are becoming happily single. I know, shocking. We’ve begun repairing and building happy relationships with other women, creating a life that doesn’t need a partner. As we embrace solo life, we’ve begun asking: why am I dating again? Why am I going out with a guy I kinda don’t like or trust for a meal that I can afford to buy myself, and I could be eating braless? Well, because you can’t always fuck yourself, babe. No, but seriously, why are we still dating? What’s the point if we are happy at home? I can’t give you one clear answer, but I can give you a line I was told when I was speaking to an older woman with many friends. She was reminiscing about an old friend she had and said offhandedly, “It’s good to keep people. You’ll need […]
In Defense of the Fuck Boy
Do People Still Say Fuck Boys? We all know who they are. They’re promoters for a party, a guy constantly in between relationships who’s only looking to get laid and leaves once things get too deep or real. These are the guys who leave multiple women confused, wondering what they did wrong when the guy was just a jerk. They’ve been around for years, once being called bachelors and still are if they’re rich, but a fuck boy if you’re broke. And while I don’t think highly of these men because they do play mind games and take advantage of vulnerable people, leaving them hurt and confused, I do think sometimes we’re expecting love and warmth from an iceberg. To put it in perspective, think about it like Samantha from Sex and the City. She laughs and giggles with the men, but she’s not, or is rarely, interested in a […]
Healing Journey Full Circle: Now What?
For 6 years I’ve been on a healing journey. I was in and out of therapy and analyzing why I behave the way that I do. Is it childhood trauma? Is it depression, religious guilt, shame, anxiety? Short answer: yes. Yes to all that. I have an answer to why my brain bullies me sometimes, and at the end of it all, it goes, yeah, sometimes brains do that. So how are we going to fix it? Therapy? I did that so much I got sick of talking about myself. Find new hobbies? I did, and I love them! Find a way to cope with big feelings? Yes, yes, all very good and works amazingly. And yet, through all that healing, one thing I learned is that I liked that side of me. The wild, uninhibited version of myself who’s abrasive, sexually liberated, and a different-thinking person who doesn’t handle […]
Thrifted Find: Striped Salt and Pepper Shakers
The universe knows me and loves me because I found my dream salt and pepper shakers on Facebook Marketplace. If you’re not using it yet, you need to. Almost all of my apartment has been bought on Facebook Marketplace. My inspiration was the MacKenzie-Childs Courtly Check-style salt and pepper shakers. I love the hand-painted details and how everything has a rustic yet polished look, with that subtle gold detail that sets it off! What I didn’t love was the price tag. I’m sure someone will and does love them, but not me. What really caught my eye was the striking contrast. Checks paired with earthy neutrals give a striking contrast to an otherwise flat layout. Just a hint, not too much, adds eclectic character without taking away from the space. Salt and pepper shakers are the perfect way to add a tiny, fun pop without making your entire kitchen kitsch. […]
When Did Life Become So Serious?
When did life become so serious? When did everyday life become about locking in and reaching this big goal, and if you meet someone who is not taking it seriously, then leave? Not worth it. They’re a distraction. Like why? Why and when did things become not fun anymore? The amount of times I see people (probably bots) saying stuff like, “Give yourself six months, no distractions. Prove them all wrong,” like my life is some kind of vengeance mission. I don’t even know who “they” are! Even when dating, it’s sooo serious. You must text back in XYZ time or else. I had one guy tell me if I don’t respond in 24 hours, he’s unmatching me. It had been 4 days since I responded. I saved him the trouble and unmatched him. I have on my profile that I’m essentially just looking, and why he’s giving me ultimatums […]