The Tranquil Vintessa

In today’s culture, we idolize independence. We love to see people pick themselves up, dust off their boots, and get to work. The self-made hustler mentality is celebrated, and it has seeped into the self-help world. It’s almost expected to isolate ourselves to work on our personal growth. I did this myself for two years. I didn’t date, and I didn’t socialize. I sat in my home talking to my therapist and my pup, avoiding others like the plague because I wasn’t ready to make my grand appearance as a fully healed woman.

Yet when I did, I found myself making the same mistakes over and over again. I thought I was healed and ready to handle anything. But isolation does not heal you—it simply removes your triggers. Life is easier when no one is around and nothing bothers you. But a flower does not bloom without hardship, and sometimes you have to dig through some dirt.

It wasn’t until I was started dating again that I realized I was not as healed as I thought. I thought I had a handle on my abandonment issues, but when he would leave, I always got angry and would fuss. It wasn’t until one night when I threw a huge fit that my higher self came down and said, “Baby, you’re too old to be acting like this.” That was my wake-up call—I hadn’t truly dealt with it because there was no one leaving; no one was around.

My abandonment issues hadn’t surfaced because there was nothing bringing them up. Since then I was able to find avenues that help ground me when my emotions take over. And on days where I still fall back into that habit I do a soft 3 day reset to realign my mind body and spirit. [Get your own copy free here]

Growth in general is hard, and there’s no clear path. Even when you reach one goal, another hill might appear. But every step forward is worth it. Focus on the light, and remember—people aren’t all bad, and neither are you. We’re all just trying to navigate life, and sharing our journeys makes it easier. That’s why I started this blog—not only because I love writing, but to share my experiences so you know you’re not alone. We’re all a little messy, and that’s what makes us beautiful. I hope you’re inspired to continue sharing your journey, and thank you so much for reading. I’ll see you next time.