The Tranquil Vintessa

After you’ve reflected enough on your life, eventually, you come to terms with it. The things that used to trigger you don’t anymore. You realize that not engaging in negativity isn’t a sign of weakness but of strength. More importantly, you learn how to cope and love yourself. During my recent therapy appointment, I realized I had nothing to talk about. I had no more tears to cry and nothing left to get off my chest. My drinking was under control, I didn’t have any self-destructive patterns to address, and I hadn’t had a breakdown in the past year and a half. With nothing going on, there was nothing to revisit in the next session.

My life had been such a whirlwind, and now it’s calm. It feels odd to not have some issue clouding my mind. My trauma used to be a constant companion, rocking my boat of life on uneasy waters. But now that I’ve conquered the waves, I have no current challenges, no storms. The water is just calm, and life seems a bit dull. I know that sounds crazy, but with nothing going on and nothing triggering me, I think things through and move with purpose, so I’m not lashing out. I set goals and move with intention, staying motivated. While I do still have moments of stress and impulsivity, I can reflect and decide to do better. I don’t spiral; I just float. And it’s the craziest feeling—I feel like I’m almost craving for something to happen.

What do you do when you are healed and decide to stop fighting? You get up and live your life. I have a whole new dance to learn, and it might just be my best one yet.