The Tranquil Vintessa

As I sank into my vintage leather couch for another night swiping through apps. Since I’ve moved to the city I’ve only had a few dates but haven’t met anyone I’ve wanted to share my energy with. The only person who sparked a slight interest was James. He was an artist from Brooklyn who had a studio here. We didn’t talk much on the apps but I did give him my number so we can see if there’s any connection before I deleted the app in frustration.

“I’m over it,” I say to myself as toss my phone aside and sip my tea. Then my phone vibrated it was James. I answered trying not to sound as frustrated as I was. “Maybe, this would be just a fun hook-up,” I thought.

“I’m over it.” I said to myself as toss my phone aside and take a sip my tea. Shortly after my phone vibrated, it was James. We began talking about our day and what we’re currently doing. He had just been commissioned for a mural downtown and was working on that while I was sitting at home watching YouTube. After some easy conversation I found out he was a healer and offered me a holistic massage at his studio.

Can you image how steamy it would be to be intimate surrounded by beautiful pieces of art? Maybe my mind was in the gutter but it is what it is and it had been a while. Snapping back into reality he asked me about my pet peeves. One of which we had in common neither of us like people lingering over us while we eat. Diving deeper, he shared that he doesn’t share food. “I’d rather buy you your own than give you something off my plate.” He said.

“oh so you don’t share, like-” I began to say.

“No. I share, I don’t mind sharing just not off my plate, people always get it confused. I share buy getting you your own.” he said voice raised.

This was the beginning of a nearly 30 minute rant about how his mother didn’t give him food growing up because “she deserved it more, yeah she was toxic” he quipped. He also told me how he attacked a girl when he was younger (Elementary school age) because she pants him on the monkey bars and it was so bad the teacher had to break it up.

He went on and on. I started to tune him out only answering curtly when asked a direct question, but he hadn’t noticed the energy change. When he asked about my love language I told him everything but physical touch. He wanted to dive deeper in to why I don’t like being touched ( didn’t say that, it’s just not a love language but I degras) but I didn’t want to give him any information. All the red flags were raised and I was not interested in this man. Yet, he thought it was a perfect time to go on another tangent about how not wanting to be touched was trauma based and how he could fix that.

It was getting late, I wanted to go to bed. Finally I had my chance when he took a sip of water and I quickly told him how I had to leave. He was gracious and told me how he enjoyed ranting-I mean- talking to me and again, invited me to his studio. I quickly agreed and set up a made up time when I would be free. Finally I was off the phone.

I sat for a moment, shocked by the conversation. That was a lot, and I couldn’t help but laugh at the nonsense of it all. After a brief moment I got up, opened a window, and burned a Palo Santo stick to clear out any negative energy. At first, I thought it would be a crazy story and a bullet-well-dodged but after a few moments of reflection, this conversation gave me greater insight into unchecked abuse can manifest and how energy can transferred. Negative or chaotic energy can come in to your place in many ways, this one being a phone call.

Had I gone to him to release energy, what energy would I have received? When we go about our own healing journey we are bound to encounter negative energy. Like Eve in the Garden of Eden being tempted to eat the apple from the forbidden tree. We too can be led astray to be healed by people who haven’t healed themselves and be worse off than if we just stayed the course. Look in to people and enter in each chapter with love and understanding, you don’t know who needs it. But keep your wits about you, if something seems off it probably is. With this in mind, I finished cleansing my place and straightened up before showering and heading to bed. I think I’ll be vibing alone for a while.