I closed the Zoom app and stared at the screen, just after finishing my latest therapy session. Over the past two years, my attendance had been sporadic. The last time my therapist saw me, I was crying into a bottle of whiskey, questioning why my life felt so terrible. Maybe it had something to do with my nightly drinking.
Since then, I decided to focus on doing the work outside of therapy. I chose to learn how to live with my condition, not just deal with it. And it worked. I moved to a new city, developed healthier habits, met new friends, and even started dating. I took a two-year break from living to study myself and learn how to handle my own issues. Now that I have a better grasp on who I am, I’m ready to share that with the world, and so far, they’ve been responding positively.
I glanced around my shabby chic apartment, with its vintage worn couch, tapestry hanging on the wall, and plants everywhere, and smiled. The space looks so peaceful around noon when the sun hits the windows just right. I took a deep breath and sighed. These past four years have been challenging, but I’ve managed to gain control over my drinking, practice my coping skills, and improve my communication. I’ve owned up to my mistakes, set boundaries, and enforced consequences for those who crossed them.
I’ve learned to shower myself with love and care, creating a gratitude jar to celebrate even the small victories. I set goals, acknowledge my achievements, and learn from my setbacks. I focus on maintaining positive energy around me, believing that it attracts positivity back into my life. I tell myself daily that I am loved, something I had never said before.
All of this work took years and was exhausting, but it has paid off. I know myself now—what I can handle and what to do when life gets tough. I’ve rediscovered my passion for living and, at 32, I am grateful for each day, especially since I didn’t think I’d make it to 30. I’m proud of how far I’ve come.
When I look at my life and everything that lies ahead, I see that the person I was before has transformed into someone who refuses to return to that old life. There’s too much to lose by going back, and the life I’ve created is beautiful. So, as I step into this new phase of life, I’m excited for what comes next and hope you’ll be a part of this journey with me. Thank you for your support.
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