The Tranquil Vintessa

I remember when I was younger, I would watch the older high schoolers all dressed up so fashionably at school, thinking, When I get older, I’ll find my look and be so fabulous! That’s a typical freshman mindset. And when I got to their age, I dressed up, headed to school in heels—yes, I was that girl—and made sure everything was perfect. This routine continued well into college and a little beyond.

It wasn’t until I moved out on my own and was humbled by bills and a full-time job that I realized how much effort that look took. Once I got back on my feet, I realized my priorities had changed. I was no longer the girl who lived at the mall and spent all her money on fashionable goods. I wanted a more fulfilling life and to become the person I truly wanted to be—not the person I thought I should be.

I hadn’t really changed my look since high school, so I started exploring other cultures and styles to figure out where I fit in. But even as I explored, I realized I wasn’t venturing into anything truly new. In fact, I wasn’t even sure what I liked. I hadn’t figured myself out at all.

When COVID hit, I was forced to be with myself in my tiny 500-square-foot apartment with my pup. That’s when I decided to completely change my look. With the world and my mental health in the toilet, I thought, Why not throw conformity to the wind and find out who I really am? After years of trial and error, I found bohemianism—a space where I felt like I could be my weird little self. And I was happy.

Today, I want to share what bohemianism means to me and what that transition looked like.

What Is Bohemianism?

To me, bohemianism is the notion of living an unconventional life, free of societal pressures and norms. It’s about living a life of passion, whether that’s artistic, creative, or spiritual. You can travel the world like a vagabond or live in the woods with a furry companion, vibing with nature. It’s all about living authentically and defining life on your own terms.

Unlike what you might see when you look up “boho” or “bohemian” on Instagram, it’s not just an aesthetic. It’s a lifestyle. It’s about living free—free from materialism, corruption, and ego.

That’s why I vibe with it so much. There aren’t any real rules. It’s just about being you and doing what makes you happy. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, it’s all good.

How I Became a Bohemian

Note: This isn’t a guide on how to be a bohemian. If some tips resonate with you and you want to incorporate them into your journey, go for it. But please don’t feel like you have to.

1. Have a Drastic Physical Change

When I first made the change, I needed to shake things up—to do something that triggered my anxiety a bit and maybe even pissed off my parents. So, I dyed my hair blue and went wild with tattoos, getting some based on dreams, visions, and a $200 budget with no one to stop me.

This was my way of trusting my instincts and making myself stand out. I was done hiding, trying not to be noticed. I was here, loud and proud, like it or not.

2. Find Out Your Values

My entrance into bohemianism was through the hippie movement. I wasn’t very familiar with it, but I thought it was a peaceful movement. And in some ways, I was right. However, the hippie movement is more political than creative. Once I realized I wanted my life to be about passion rather than politics, I knew it wasn’t for me.

While I have things I’m for and against, I don’t want to make those my defining traits. I’d rather let my art speak for itself. I also didn’t connect with hippie literature the way I did with bohemian works. I realized I wanted to surround myself with art, love, deep passions, and lots of wine. I wanted to paint a tapestry with my words and my art—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

3. Fill Your Life With Love

Once I embraced bohemianism, I had my unkempt hair, listened to my cringy music loudly in the car, (semi) covered myself in ink, and devoured books that inspired love in my life.

I also took a hard look at my relationships—the good, the bad, and the ugly. In the pursuit of love, I worked to repair old relationships and build bridges. Some worked; others didn’t. But the ones that did are beautiful now because we went through that lesson. And the ones that didn’t? They were replaced with people who truly love and care about me. I couldn’t be happier.

4. Dress and Care for Yourself Unapologetically

In addition to shedding societal appearance constraints, I brought that rebellious spirit to my wardrobe. I had always been an all-black, heels-wearing girl, but that just didn’t feel like me anymore.

While I kept a few pairs of heels (and my millennial heart will never part with knee-high boots), I transitioned most of my wardrobe to long skirts, simple tops with large sleeves, and surprisingly, a lot of fall shades. Now, when I go into my closet, I’m overwhelmed—not by stress, but by excitement. Everything feels perfect, and wherever I go, I feel like me.

5. Create a Sacred Place

As you know, my home is my sanctuary. Every day, it becomes more and more sacred. I’ve filled it with plants, precious mementos, and now, people I don’t feel the need to impress.

Having a place where you can truly relax and call your own, no matter how big or small, is something everyone needs. I finally have mine.

Embracing My Bohemian Life

Every bohemian journey looks different. No two bohemians are alike, and that’s the beauty of it. When I came into bohemianism, I was shy, awkward, and unsure of myself. But after taking control of my appearance, my relationships, and my space—and putting what I value most at the forefront of my life—everything changed.

Bohemianism helped me fall in love with life. I hope my story inspires you to embrace your own authenticity, whatever that may look like. Life is a canvas, and you get to decide how to paint it.