The Tranquil Vintessa

It’s human nature to want to be around people. We are social beings, and even the most introverted among us usually have at least one favorite person they talk to. However, the pressure to have friends can sometimes lead us to surround ourselves with people who aren’t the best for us. I’ve been a victim of people-pleasing, trying to make toxic friendships work, mistaking manipulation for love and support. (Read my post about my toxic friend here). Through therapy and practicing self-love, I’ve learned how to build a supportive social circle and distinguish between real friends and those who just smile to your face. Today, I want to share some of what I learned.

How To Build Supportive Friendships

1. Self-Reflect and Identify Your Needs

What are you looking for in a friend group? Are you seeking people who want to go out almost every night, or a shoulder to cry on? Maybe you just want someone to laugh with while you walk through Target in leggings, or someone to motivate you to work out more. Seek out friends who match what you’re looking for and share your goals and desires for meaningful connections.

2. Engage in Social Activities You Enjoy

To find people who like what you like, you need to participate in activities you enjoy with others. Look at meetup groups or local shops to see what’s going on and be out and about. Take a class, join a club, or find a group of like-minded individuals. You could also try local online groups; just make sure to meet in a public place.

3. Reach Back Out to Old Friends

Do you have any old friends you’re still connected with on Facebook? Reach out to them. One of the biggest realizations I had about relationships is that I didn’t reach out as much as I thought I did. I would fail to keep plans or just not respond. It’s easy to get caught up in life and let things fall through the cracks, but you can still reach out and say hello.

4. Be Open and Vulnerable

Share your story. You don’t have to tell everything, but share what you’re comfortable with. Being open and letting people in builds trust and deeper connections. When others share their stories, listen intently and provide support if needed.

5. Set Healthy Boundaries

Know your limits. There is nothing wrong with telling your friends that something makes you uncomfortable, and they should have no problem apologizing. Healthy boundaries keep everyone comfortable and feeling respected.

6. Have Fun and Be Positive

Remember, a large part of having friends is to have fun! So keep it light, smile, and be yourself. Enjoy the time you spend with others and celebrate their wins and milestones with them.

Overall, the foundation of having supportive and good friends is being a supportive and good friend yourself! Since implementing these practices in every relationship I’ve found a small but good amount of friends that I cherish and I know you will too. I hope this found you well, let me know in the comments and I’ll see you in the next one.