The Tranquil Vintessa

When did life become so serious? When did everyday life become about locking in and reaching this big goal, and if you meet someone who is not taking it seriously, then leave? Not worth it. They’re a distraction. Like why? Why and when did things become not fun anymore?

The amount of times I see people (probably bots) saying stuff like, “Give yourself six months, no distractions. Prove them all wrong,” like my life is some kind of vengeance mission. I don’t even know who “they” are!

Even when dating, it’s sooo serious. You must text back in XYZ time or else. I had one guy tell me if I don’t respond in 24 hours, he’s unmatching me. It had been 4 days since I responded. I saved him the trouble and unmatched him. I have on my profile that I’m essentially just looking, and why he’s giving me ultimatums when I made it clear I’m not looking seriously is crazy.

It was the same when I told my friend I was bored and her response was, “You can try dating seriously.” Like no, I don’t believe in that.

Life is serious enough. If I click with someone, we can go deeper, but I’m not handing out a form to everyone I date and seeing if they’re husband material. Let the three months just vibe. If something gets established, great, let’s work on that. If we just have a fun three months, let it be that.

I think this comes from my whole healing journey. For so long, I took things seriously so I didn’t look foolish or waste my time. But in the grand scheme of life, you can do so many things right and it doesn’t come out right.

Look at any millennial who did everything right and still ended up unhappy. They went to school, got the degree, got the job and family, yet they’re left wondering, why is it still hard? Why is my life not perfect? Why am I struggling? No one points out the fine print that says, “Results may vary.”

I just feel like life should be lived and experienced, not a foolproof list of items you must accomplish or else you won’t be happy. There’s no book on life. There’s no perfect guide to happiness because that comes from within. No one can really tell you how to get it or how to have a fulfilled life.

And though you can and should take your goals seriously, you should also allow yourself to have fun along the way.

You can date Mr. Wrong while looking for Mr. Right. You can enjoy hobbies without monetizing them and have a job that simply pays the bills. You have so much, yet so little time on earth. Enjoy it when you can.

Do what you can and love and live again.

Everything doesn’t have to be so serious to where you self-isolate or give strangers ultimatums. Go with the flow and enjoy your time.

Because when you leave, no one is going to tell stories about how you checked off all the boxes. They’ll tell stories about how you made them smile.