The Tranquil Vintessa

Do People Still Say Fuck Boys?

We all know who they are. They’re promoters for a party, a guy constantly in between relationships who’s only looking to get laid and leaves once things get too deep or real. These are the guys who leave multiple women confused, wondering what they did wrong when the guy was just a jerk.

They’ve been around for years, once being called bachelors and still are if they’re rich, but a fuck boy if you’re broke.

And while I don’t think highly of these men because they do play mind games and take advantage of vulnerable people, leaving them hurt and confused, I do think sometimes we’re expecting love and warmth from an iceberg.

To put it in perspective, think about it like Samantha from Sex and the City. She laughs and giggles with the men, but she’s not, or is rarely, interested in a relationship with any of them. I’m not saying she’s right. I’m just using her as an example.

She is someone who would be a forever bachelorette. She is great as a rebound, someone to have a good time with, get lost in a whirlwind romance, and then move on. No love lost, just a fun time.

To prove this point, in Episode 15, Season 2, Samantha slept with Charlotte’s brother, Wesley. After Charlotte slut-shamed Wesley, he confronted Charlotte, saying that his relationship wasn’t working out and that Samantha showed him that he just needed to have sex and helped him out. Showing that sometimes, you don’t need love, you just need a really good fuck.

They’re there to make you feel desired again, pretty, beautiful, and on top of the world. Bonus points if they can take you there. 😏

But not a guy or person you marry. You don’t bring them home to your parents. Not someone you fall in love with or hope changes for you. Think of him like your HVAC repairman. You call when you need something fixed, appreciate the service, pay the bill, and send him back to whatever hole he crawled out of.

I think because so often we come across those kind of men when we are at a rough spot, and they make us feel amazing, we cling to that. And they play off of that, and eventually we get heartbreak from a guy we wanted to make it work with. When that’s not what they’re here for.

And I know what we’re thinking: if he wanted me to go, he’d break up with me.

Yes, that could work, but rarely that’s the case. Whether it’s due to them being cowards or just wanting you to keep trying, there are usually signs that he’s not into you.

Once I was in a long-term situationship with a fuck boy. I know at first I was fine with the relationship. He’d visit, we’d get wasted, and eat Mexican food. It was great.

Then I told a friend about it and how we’ve known each other since we were young and we reconnected, and of course she was like, “Aww, you guys found your way back to each other.”

I knew it wasn’t that, but I let myself believe it. I went deep and I made myself think it could work. But after I sobered up and looked at what he was really offering me, I didn’t want it.

I was planning my exit. I knew it was over and when I was going to leave, and I waited too long.

It caused me distress when it didn’t need to. I was happy with him just being a fuck boy, and it wasn’t until I got out of my own delusion that I realized, no. That wasn’t even him. That was an outside force bringing their feelings onto me, and I fell hard.

The main case is, when it comes to fuck boys and good-time girls, they’re in it for the reason in the name: they’re here for a fuck and to have a good time.

You don’t need a grand reason to be involved with them. You go and party with them to drown your sorrow, or to have a good time. They’re fun, and they’re always down and that’s all you need.

So when you’re just in need of a good time, you call them over. And on a lonely night when the wine was flowing and you might be ovulating, just take it at face value.

And if you get a little lost in the sauce, it’s okay. It happens. Just when you wake up, don’t do the sunk cost fallacy. Just let it be, laugh it off, and go grab some sun.

Because sometimes we need a good time, and it doesn’t have to be more than that.