The Tranquil Vintessa

For the past four years, I’ve been on a journey of self-improvement. From breaking bad habits to facing my inner darkness, it’s been an intense experience—one I hope I won’t need to revisit. Today, I can confidently say I’m in a good place, both with myself and the world around me. While self-discovery is a lifelong journey, I believe my healing from past trauma has come to an end. I no longer carry regret, shame, or a diminished sense of self. With that, I’d like to share the most important lessons I’ve learned as I close this chapter.

1. Put yourself first. No matter what, make yourself a priority. You’re no good to others if you’re running on empty. Take care of your basic needs—eat well, stay active, and prioritize self-care. Those who matter will understand, and if they don’t, they might not be your people.
2. Smile in the face of adversity. Life will have its tough moments, but beating yourself up won’t change that. Feel what you need to feel, but remember that action is what turns things around. Allow yourself to feel, but keep moving forward.
3. Create a safe space. Whether it’s at home, in your car, or a park, find a place where you can take a breather and just be for a moment. Recharge, then reengage with the world.
4. The world will go on without you. No matter how much you need to slow down or step back, the world will keep turning. So if you need a break, take one—everything will be fine.
5. People are the center of their own universe. Just as you are the center of yours, others are consumed with their own lives. Don’t stress over something that happened years ago—most people are too busy with their own lives to remember.
6. Don’t worry about being cool. When I turned 30, I stopped trying to be cool. Society might say I’m old and out of touch, but I embraced that and felt free to do my own thing. True freedom comes from embracing who you are.
7. Reflect and strive to be a good person. Live life with an open heart, not a closed one. Kindness and empathy are invaluable.
8. Most things are just in your head. Sometimes your mind is your own worst enemy—tell it to quiet down every now and then.
9. Not everything is a lesson or has a reason. Sometimes people are just jerks, and bad things happen. Don’t waste energy overanalyzing; sometimes, it really is that simple.
10. You’re good just as you are. If others don’t see it, let them go—they just might not be your people.
11. Trust your intuition. If something feels off, it probably is. Either speak up or step away, but don’t silence your intuition.

Now that I’ve shared these lessons, I’m ready to start living fully. I hope you’ll join me as we explore what that looks like together.

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