The Tranquil Vintessa

Growing up, I heard a lot of, “What would ___ think?” or “You don’t want people thinking you’re ___.” It was like these invisible judges were constantly watching my every move. So, naturally, I became obsessed with what others thought about me. I tried to blend in, not make waves, and avoid standing out too much.

But as I got older, I realized something: living like that is exhausting. You can’t spend your whole life worrying about what others think of you. It’ll eat you alive. Anxiety, depression, and just this overall sense of unfulfillment creep in because you’re living for someone else, not yourself. Once you let go of caring so much about other people’s opinions, you’re free to focus on what actually makes you happy. And trust me, that’s where your life begins.

My Journey to Letting Go of Opinions

I’ve been on this journey myself for 4 years. I have read and listened to a multitude of philosophers’ teachings and they have all played a huge role in helping me let go of that constant need for approval. It’s been life-changing, and if you’re looking for a way to care less and live more, I have composed a list of principles I have found helpful and I hope you find them helpful too.

Everything Is Temporary

First things first: everything—including people’s opinions—is temporary. We tend to think that once someone forms an opinion about us, it’s set in stone. But it’s not. Opinions change, people move on, and honestly, most of the time, they’re not even thinking about us as much as we think they are. So, why waste energy worrying about something that’s going to fade away anyway?

Focus on What You Can Control

You can’t control what other people think, but you can control your actions and your character. Focus on being the kind of person you’re proud of. That’s what matters. When you shift your energy to things you can actually influence, life feels a lot lighter.

Stuff Happens—And That’s Okay

Life isn’t always a series of lessons or deep, meaningful moments. Sometimes, things just happen. It rains, then the sun comes out. That’s it. Instead of getting worked up over every little thing, try to approach life’s twists and turns with a calm mindset. I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel your emotions. If you need to yell, cry, or scream into a pillow, go for it. Just don’t let those feelings linger longer than they need to. Once you’ve felt them, let them go and move on.

Get to Know Yourself

The person you spend the most time with is yourself, so spend time getting to know you. Master your thoughts and emotions without relying on what others say about you. When you’re confident in who you are, outside opinions lose their power.

Stop Chasing Validation

We all love that little dopamine hit when someone validates us but it’s fleeting. If you’re constantly chasing validation, you’re giving other people control over your happiness. Instead, focus on what makes you feel fulfilled and aligned with your values. That’s where true happiness lives.

Trust Your Own Judgment

Your opinion of yourself is the one that matters most. Don’t let someone else’s perspective shape how you see yourself. Remind yourself: “I know who I am, and that’s enough.”

Let Go of the Past and Stop Fearing the Future

The past is gone and the future is not here yet. So why stress about either? Focus on the present moment—it’s the only thing that’s real.

Embrace Simplicity

Goals are great, but don’t let your life revolve around seeking other people’s approval. Free yourself by focusing on what makes you happy. Living simply doesn’t mean living small; it means living authentically.

My Bold Step Toward Authenticity

When I decided to embrace this mindset I dyed my hair a bold blue shade, got tattoos, and pierced my body. For most of my life, people told me how I was supposed to look and why I shouldn’t do this or that. When I altered my look it was something I knew they wouldn’t like, but I would love. That was my “I’m going to do what I want” my first steps into living a life not caring what others thought and embracing what I love. Now, you don’t have to go that route, but finding your own way to express your true self is so freeing. Since then, I’ve simplified my life, discovered my passions, and found a sense of peace I didn’t think was possible.

So, what does your carefree life look like? How do you let go of others’ opinions and embrace your true self? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Sending you love and peace,
Kimberly Rae