The Tranquil Vintessa

When I moved out into my own place, I was a broke, fresh-out-of-college kid, excited to leave my small town and live in the city. I couldn’t afford much, just a crappy one-bedroom apartment in a not-so-favorable location. But it was mine, and I was trying to make the best of it.

Once, I had to have a repairman come in and look at my heating unit because it was making a hissing sound. I could tell he didn’t like his current position, but as we were talking, he began criticizing my apartment. He talked about the area and how the complex wasn’t well maintained, as if I didn’t know by the holes in my sink and my door hanging off the hinges. I think he meant it to be more inspirational, like “you can do better,” but I really couldn’t. I was making $10 an hour, and after paying rent and utilities, I barely had $20 left for food and gas. He left with the parting words, “You know, ‘our people,’ we don’t do this, we don’t live like this.” That one phrase could be a slogan for the community—for everyone. It doesn’t matter how many people you see that look like you doing what you are doing; to dispel the myth of us not doing that. People will use the “us” to prevent you from trying something different or to goad you into doing what they are doing. I was a broke kid, I had to do this; I couldn’t afford anything else.

I lived there for 2 years, then I moved out of that place into an even worse one, and then into something nicer. I’ve been fortunate enough not to have to live in a bad place since then. But I never criticize someone coming up or going through a rough time. We are all just trying to get by the best way we can. If you ever hear someone tell you “We don’t do that,” what they really mean is they don’t do that. It has no reflection on you, and you by no means have to fall in line with what they are doing. Stay true to yourself (and your budget), and don’t try to keep up or fall in line with the crowd. There’s nothing shameful about being yourself and not doing as they do. We might just be built differently.