The Tranquil Vintessa

When the day turns grey and life feels like too much, you still have to show up.

I always think about something Lady Gaga once shared about her early career. After being dropped by her record label, she went to her grandmother devastated. Her grandmother told her, “I’ll let you cry. But when you’re done crying, you need to get up and fight.” or something like that.

That’s the energy.

You are allowed to cry. You are allowed to feel it. But you cannot live there.

I don’t allow myself to mope or bed rot for too long. You can get stuck in that mindset so easily. Even with everyone saying “rest when you’re tired,” you have to be careful. Yes, rest. Yes, soften. But don’t let rest turn into disappearance. At some point, you get up. You fight in your own way.

There is no secret that my life has felt a little lackluster lately. I realized I was overthinking, analyzing everything, trying to spark a fire that just wasn’t lighting. So instead of forcing it, I stepped back. I decided to live gently instead of dramatically.

And I give myself small, tried-and-true rituals that soften the blow.

Here are a few of my favorites.

Bake Brownies or Make Pasta

It’s not about the outcome. It’s about the ritual.

I turn on low lights. I pour a glass of wine. Soft music hums in the background. The point is to calm my nervous system and reset the tone of the night.

If I’m making pasta, I take my frustration out on the dough. If I’m irritated or mad at the day, I knead it into the flour. When I roll and cut the pasta, it becomes focus. When it boils in the water, I breathe. I wait. I observe. By the time I’m eating, I’m calm. A little tired. Maybe a little wine-drunk. But steady.

Brownies are different. Brownies are for when I need sweetness, not intensity. They’re simple. From a box. No depth required. Just comfort. I skip the wine and make tea instead. A sweet treat, warm mug in hand, and a cozy show. It feels like being held.

Take the Long Way Home

I’ll take my pup on a longer walk around the lake near my place or wander through a neighborhood I’ve never really paid attention to before.

Sometimes I vent to myself. Sometimes I let my mind drift. Sometimes I just watch the squirrels, feel the sun on my face, and notice the leaves moving in the wind.

It reminds me that I’m part of something bigger than whatever is weighing on me.

Nature doesn’t rush. The lake doesn’t overthink. The trees don’t spiral.

Neither do I have to.

Read Something New

When my world feels small, I borrow someone else’s.

Even a few pages can shift perspective. It pulls me out of my own looping thoughts and into a different life, a different rhythm. It reminds me that stories move forward. So can I.

Learn Something That Challenges You

Lately, I’ve been relearning sign language. I knew some when I was younger, but now it’s mostly just the alphabet. Brushing up on it stretches my brain in a way that feels exciting instead of heavy.

Learning something new reminds me that I am still expanding, even on the days that feel stagnant.

You can rest without quitting. You can soften without disappearing. You can cry and still get up.

Fight doesn’t always mean hustle. Sometimes it means making pasta. Sometimes it means walking by a lake. Sometimes it means opening a book instead of opening a spiral.

And sometimes it simply means showing up gently instead of dramatically.