One thing about me is that when it comes to relationships and dating, I often get lost in the fantasy. I’m a passionate, all-encompassing lover, but once that spell is broken, I start losing interest. That’s exactly what’s happening with Erin—and I knew it would from day one. I kept asking myself, “When will it end? When will it end?” Well, I got my answer on Saturday, at 8:42 PM.
We were in another hotel room, and an impromptu session was about to begin. Usually, I’m slightly intoxicated, and we’re giggling more. This time, I was 100% sober. As I was straddling him, I asked him about us—how I wanted to look beyond this and what his boundaries were. Usually, he’d say something slightly possessive, and I would giggle and fall a little deeper. But this time, he simply said, “Just be safe.” When I pressed him, he joked, “Haven’t you casually dated before?” Click. Just like that, I realized—this isn’t a taboo affair; this isn’t passion. This is just a fuck.
Now, I know some might be rolling their eyes, but understand this: when I’m casually dating someone, I don’t talk to them all day, we don’t go away on trips, and they most certainly don’t come into my home. Casual flings stay in the outside world because they’re temporary, and my home life is reserved for friends and long-term partners—not some guy who is just a little more than fun. After he said that, the illusion was gone, and I knew I wasn’t going to get it back.
But I didn’t tell him that. I shrugged and made up something like, “I just wanted to be respectful, and typically I date one-on-one,” but I no longer cared. We fucked, hung out for a bit, and he complimented our efficiency. Then I left to go pick up some groceries— and met a cute guy named Ryan. And since this was just fun, why not start having it?
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With love & moonlight,
Vintessa
Sacred musings | Mystic practices | Soft heart, wild spirit