The Tranquil Vintessa

I’ve always found it fascinating how different people handle societal expectations For example, Erin, who embraces a polyamorous lifestyle, and I were talking about his decision to get married and have children. I couldn’t help but wonder why he would choose to go a traditional path when he truly wanted to be polyamorous, it seemed so contradictory. He admitted there was societal pressure — the sense that marriage and children were things you were supposed to do. I was taken back a bit because I never felt pressure from anyone, let alone society to get married and have kids. It was surprising that our paths were so different.

From the age of 12, I knew that I didn’t want children. I made that decision after talking to a male friend about being intimate (I know to young). I went up to my room and thought about sex. Something that my parents always told me was “Sex is for procreation, we use it for other things, but that’s what it’s for, so unless you’re ready to have babies don’t have sex.” So I thought about it —did I want babies? The answer was clear: no. As I thought about it more, I realized I didn’t want a traditional life of kids, husband, or suburbia at all. I wanted the freedom to pursue my passions, and a fascinating career—not a traditional family structure. That decision shaped the rest of my life.

By my late twenties, I saw the effects of societal pressure everywhere. Friends who had never spoken of marriage or kids were now rushing to settle down. Was it because they genuinely wanted that life, or were they following an unspoken script? I would hear whispers of that old ‘dying old and alone’ narrative that society repeats, as though being single or child-free were a tragedy. But for me, those pressures didn’t change my mind; I never got the hype, and since it wasn’t imposed on me from a young age it wasn’t a fear.

You can even see this shift happening within our generation—millennials. Older millennials, influenced by the stability and traditions of their parents, often sought the classic American dream—marriage, kids, a white picket fence. But younger millennials, myself included, are moving in a very different direction. We prioritize experiences over material achievements, travel over settling down, and careers that fulfill us over societal milestones. Two distinct paths but both valid ways of finding happiness.

And that’s what it’s all about in the end? Finding the joy in life while we are still living it! As I witness the world shifting into more nontraditional living, whether that’s being child-free, living a polyamorous life, or choosing to remain single — I see people living and being their authentic selves. It’s as if we are all breathing a collective sigh of relief, we no longer have to be tied down to those previous shackles of outdated expectations. Each generation is moving closer to a world where being different is celebrated, and the rigid norms of the past are slowly fading. It’s honestly beautiful to see—a world where we can live freely, unapologetically, and on our own terms.

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